International disabled traveler

2010-10-26T13:11:00.000-07:00

My Love of the Arbus

In my recent exploration of Diane Arbus, the acclaimed photographer of ‘freaks’, I indulged in my voyeuristic side. Arbus ‘s naked, raw exposition of the freak both frightens me and seduces me. As a person with a disability, and particularly a woman with a disability, this raw portrayl of disability, aka freakhood, provokes immediate repulsion. It is not that I found the disabled bodies repulsive, but their complete lack of “trying to be normal” has created this immensely natural aversion. Photographing the disabled in clothing which hides twisted or missing limbs, or elegantly situates the wheelchair user in positions where the wheelchair becomes a sleek assessory, all are easy to swallow. Yet Arbus photographs shows in bright glaring lights unposed, misshapen, twisted, “ugly’ bodies in all their glory. Invoking the widely popular ‘freakshow’, I along with my fellow disabled counterparts openly and loudly disparage such historical black spots, yet after my recent introduction to Arbus, I am met with the incredible seductive forces behind such voyeuristic “shows’. In looking at women with dwarfism, wearing leather dominatrix clothing or nothing at all, it invokes my shame in showing so openly my misshapen bits. Unlike the relief that most feel in seeing images of those ‘worse off then them” displaying their ‘ugliness’ like an open wound, such images create a reflection of how much I feel the need to conform to normalcy. I take great confort in the fact that I'm "beautifully abnormal". All ego aside, I have been fortunate enough to be a 'normal' looking person who just happens to sit in a wheelchair. Some limbs are abnormally shapen but through years of female cultural indocternation I have been able to hide them with fashion and make-up and a billion other beauty products. Thus, in viewing the freakshow of Diane Arbus, I am reminded of those abnormal bits of myself, both literal and figuratively. The attractiveness of such photographs is what intrigues me the most, as I believe that there is such truth shown in Arbus's photography. She shows the freaks without the show, the middle class families without pretention and celebrities without glamour. I found the picture posted above to be the most striking as for all purposes Arbus is taking a picture of a normal middle class family with a husband, a wife and two kids, but you look closer and it appears the older child has a disability and there is a distinct 'off-ness" to this family. But for me, this 'off-ness" or strangeness is what makes this family so utterly normal.

I only wish i were a subject for one of Arbus's photographs, wherein i could revel in the glory of my abnormally 'normal' bits.

2010-10-08T13:56:00.000-07:00

On the Backs of Men

I have been confronting recently this ever haunting issue of dependence, and realizing my need for inter-dependence. Similar to most people with disabilities, I have trained, rehab-ed, struggled and fought for every ounce of independence I now have. So the idea of hiring someone to come in to assist around the house a couple times a week is just simply heinous, and I have been quietly throwing some adolescent tantrums after succumbing to the inevitable…. That Megan Smith is not an island surrounded by vast, empty, person-less bodies of water, despite all efforts to be so. Though I do believe with enough money this very well could be my future. Someone else coming into my house to vacuum has suddenly made me reflect on my fascist like desire to be independent, and how country specific this fervency is. On reflection I realized how willing I was to be completely and absolutely dependent, physically, on relative strangers in Nepal, Peru, Morocco, Costa Rica, and Algeria etc... I mean I allowed three men to carry me up a mountain, without my chair, and I allowed myself to be utterly dependent on them even in going to the bathroom. But here in America, allowing someone to vacuum my floor makes me cringe.
I realized, especially after re-reading my thesis, that my interaction with others is defined to a greater degree by public opinion and societal view of disability. To clarify, when I had such assistance in Nepal and other nations, I did not feel like charity or eternally indebted to them. Their assistance to me was equally balanced by the work I did with them, so no one was put on a higher, lower pedestal than the other. In America, no matter how kind hearted the person assisting you are, there is a general view of needing assistance as disdainful. When I go out with my mum or really anyone, they are generally viewed as my caretaker, and as such people will talk to them instead of myself. Consequently, wherever I go, I feel this constant need to exhibit myself as completely independent, even if that means telling a friend to wait in the car or even walk a little away from me so people won’t assume his/her caretaker status. This is ridiculous I know, but when someone like me struggles and works incredibly hard to live a life completely independently, it’s a slap in the face whenever I go out to have the assumption made that I have a caretaker.
In this way, I realized that this is the reason for this militant type effort to be and maintain independence in America, and how I must evolve and realize that my life is a hell of a lot easier with people on my island.
On an additional note I have realized what an amazing, philanthropic service I have been providing for the male species. After a man recently carried me into a restaurant, he appeared quite pleased with himself and all puffed up, with his wife and friends congratulating him on being such a great Samaritan, and I realized that if I have done nothing else in this world, I have done absolute wonders to a great many male egos. (and perhaps to the businesses of many chiropractic practitioners)

2010-09-19T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am becoming a normal human being. well a least a normal woman in her twenties. I realised as i was surrounded by 16 and 17 year olds taking my driving test (written), I skipped a few steps in the development process and now must retrace. In making my childhood home my hermitage for the past few months I realised I had been travelling somewhat consistently since 15, coming home for no more than several weeks. While I am absolutely sure that leaving at 15 and all the travels have been the best thing for me, i now need to catch up on things i didn't do. Top of the list sits driving. I find it quite hilarious that after jumping out of planes, riding death cabs all over the world and zip lining with little more than a bed sheet, ha i am scared shitless o drive.
I suppose it is because i must now rely solely upon my somewhat temperamental body to control a vehicle that could very well kill me or others. Now I've done some very stupid, life threatening things in my life (a record of them is on this blog hahah) but it seems in those instances that i could rationalise it to where if i was injured in a riot in Nepal or in he mountains of Peru there was a slight cool factor, but injuring myself by rear ending a car on a grass valley roadway. not so romantic.
At any rate, the public shall not fear as after my lesson with the adaptive driver rainer, i discovered I'm a surprisingly good and safe driver.
On another note, as i left my town eagerly and was no exactly ino he high school scene, i know very few people my age. But i also realised tha as i am so accustomed to travelling every few months I have very little practice in having those normal, daily relationships (romantic or otherwise). Funnily i realised i could always use "Well, is been nice but I'm leaving the country next week". I'm actually not THAT bad but it's the same kind of sentiment, that i am now having to look a prospecive relationships as long term ones that require work and effort. At any rate, despite being jobless and having friends in a variety of timezones I am content to start my cozy hibernation in my forest enclosed mountain house with the lovely cool gray weather.

2010-09-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

Living in Grass Valley/Nevada City is very interesting, and not a good interesting at the momentI find it incredible that 20 years after the ADA law was passed in the US that these towns, particularly Nevada City remains for the most part inaccessible. Last week I was carried into a sushi restaurant by a good Samaritan, who by the time we got to the table almost passed out from the strain. Being royally pissed off by the time we sat down at the indignity of the situation, in addition to the possible heart attack given to the poor fellow, I complained to my aunt and the waitress. Both seemed quite indifferent to the situation and my aunt even defended the restaurant by saying its very expensive and a lot of work for the owner. Needless to say my blood pressure went dangerously high and I attempted to channel my Buddha nature. In actuality, all the restaurant needed was a small plywood board with a few bricks for support costing all of perhaps $5.00. I chose to write on this topic today, as I am sitting in this cafe that I had to go around the back, move the garbage cans from the pathway , have a nice man help me over cracked pavement and another patron go into the café to bring out a waiter. This is utterly unacceptable in the US, but people don’t understand it as blatant discrimination. The majority view it as the poor disabled girl needing assistance. But having an inaccessible building is as good as posting a sign saying “Physically Disabled Not Allowed”. People hate to view it this way as it is reminiscent of signs 40 years ago which read “Colored Not Allowed”, but having inaccessible buildings means just that. Popular excuses use expense as the main factor in not providing ramps and taking other accessibility measures, which is absurd. As aforementioned, one can purchase a piece of plywood for as much as a cup of coffee. Funnily enough, the waiter wanted to give me the cup of tea I ordered for free, as he felt guilty for the trouble I went through, and I cannot imagine how much money they have lost to guilt, that could have been put towards an accessible entrance.

I am so sick of having to smile and be effusively thankful in order to be helped into an inaccessible building that has absolutely no excuse to be so.

I shall be posting “Disabled People not Allowed” on every inaccessible building. See if people question taking their business there.

2010-08-19T13:12:00.001-07:00

I spoke at a Mobility International USA conference in Denver recently on all the topics i love to go on and on about; disability, travel, gender and mcGiver like techniques of making your wheelchair go where no man has gone. Interestingly, i realised one aspect of travel that is not often spoken of. Travel is a lonely hobby. We speak of encounters with people, places, things, monuments, cultures and religions, but they are just that: encounters. By and large, the prolific travelling population consists of loners; travellers are perpetual guests in other people lives. I believe particularly for travellers with disabilities, the experience of travel is an incredibly lonely process. And i believe it needs to be. Whether you are disabled or non-disabled, the point of travel is like any endurance sport, to push unthinkable limits and to survive completely by your own accord.
To skim the surface of countries and periodically drop into big abysses where you find yourself connecting on a profound level with different people, only to climb out again and revert to skimming, demands that you develop a self sustaining core irrespective of those around you. Its a remarkably difficult thing to do, to be this single entity moving through lives attaching and detaching.

At any rate, I'm finding it difficult at the moment to attach and involve myself in my community in northern California, after coming back home after graduating university. Finding it remarkably difficult to be directionless wanderer, ironic eh?

2010-04-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

So if you have a physical disability the place to stay in Tokyo is Toyama Sunrise Hotel. Which is fully accessible with lovely rooms, for 4,500yen which roughly converts to 45$. For the impoverished traveller with a disability this is a bit steep, but for full accessibility and comfort 45$ in Tokyo is very very reasonable. The elevators and rooms have vraille and large print, the rooms also have accessible bathrooms with AMAZING toilets. While in the past i have not been a fan of spending time in the bathroom, my god Japanese toilets will heat up, splash you in various places, blow you dry, sing a tune and shout at you in Japanese. Something that needs to be experienced by all.

I was extremely (positively) surprised at the level of accessibility in Japan, whilst the rigid rules and obsessive formality begs to be broken by someone like me , it also begets wonderful reliability, accuracy and accessibility. The metro, which is some kind of insane maze that weaves itself in and out of Tokyo, has conductors who will set up the ramp to get over the small lip and then that same conductor will call the station where you're getting off to be ready with ramp in hand. And believe me, they are there 100% of the time. They will even guide you through crazy stations as Shinjuku where during rush hour you would be lucky to make it anywhere with all the strait-edged japanese business men flow in masses. Also if you need a handicapped accessible toilet just go to one of the local metro stations, more often then not that is the best place to find a loo.

More to come soon, I'm in the middle of finishing my dissertation for uni, so I'm going a bit mad, but thanks so much for all of your comments on my last post, I will reply soon.

2010-03-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

Just a few hours ago, I came back from ten days in the land of the rising sun. I must say, initially, i felt great hesitance of travelling in a 'developed country' after my recent experiences in Spain but my addiction won over and i found myself on a plane heading for Narita Airport, Tokyo. I must make a confession that for the past year i have lost the particular fire, as it may be, to travel, explore, and to see what crazy ass things i could do in my wheelchair. I felt old.
I found myself thinking, 'this is too much effort', 'Japan is small, and even if they had access the Japanese are quite reserved and would not help me', 'Can't find a hotel that's accessible, must be a sign that i shouldn't go.' All of these are completely and absolutely absurd. I realised I went to Costa Rica not being completely sure i could dress myself independently, and have since visited over 20 countries. This trip has blown air and poured gasoline on that dying ember of passion i have for exploring the world. I have truly realised the power of the mind for the first time, while it may not get you up the flight of stairs, it will make you take the back, bumpy, dirt road which leads you to somewhere so much better. I feel like i have fallen in love again, which I must say is such a lovely feeling.

Japan itself is fascinating, disturbing, voyeuristic and ever so polite. I currently attend Soka University of America which is a Japanese Buddhist, albiet non-secular, based university which has strong ties to Japan. As such, we have a sister school of Soka University of Japan, which as an informal tradition the graduating seniors travel to Japan for SUJ's graduation ceremony. To be honest I really did not travel to Tokyo to attend SUJ's graduation but rather as an excuse to visit Japan. With this being said, travelling to Tokyo within any other capacity would not be nearly as powerful as my experience these past 10 days. This is mainly attributed to my meetings with donors to my university. When one imagines a donor to a university with one of the largest endowments per student as Soka has, one imagines an extremely affluent alumnae working within law offices or the corporate world. But not Soka, these donors put aside a meagre 100 yen (1 dollar) a week to donate to the university, the majority of these donors are lower-middle class people who believe so much in Soka education and the students at the university that they save pennies to support our education. As one can imagine, this was an incredibly humbling experience. We met on tatami mats wherein our gracious hosts cooked us an incredible array of delicious Japanese dishes, gave us gift after gift, and thanked us over an over again for taking the time to visit them. And all they wanted in return was for us to tel them little pieces of our life at the university. While the majority of the donors are have meager income, there are affluent donors who despite their wealth show the same humility. I was fortunate enough to meet with the Fujisakes who took me and a fellow classmate of mine to dinner. We ate blowfish, eel, sushi, sashimi, drank the best sake and ate the most delectable fish atop one of Tokyo's best hotels. We had birds eye view of the neon lit Tokyo 58 floors below us, lit and sparkling like some constellation on meth. Mr Fujisake spoke of his humble beginnings and his deepest desire to now, that he has worked hard for years, to donate his wealth to the education of youth. That both he and his wife felt the greatest honour in our visit, he promised a lifetime contribution to SUA as he had now seen the result of his donation. My education at this university, while always being conscious of the generous scholarship from the university, has always been quite selfish. The education was for me, the school as there to be utilised by me, and what i got out of the school was to be mine.

i realised through the meetings with the donors, that my education was for the betterment of society. these strangers were funneling money into my education because they felt me capable of masking a huge difference in the world. While seemingly simplistic and shallow, this was a powerful revelation for me and has thus renewed my passion for learning in the last few months of my undergraduate.

The next post will involve the amazing and exciting adventures within Tokyo, all which were certainly disability friendly and mostly legal :)

2009-03-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

At now 20 years old, my supposed prime, I am living alone in one of Europe's most fantastic countries and in one of the most fantastic cities in the world, and yet my life currently consists of chipping my chicken out of my overenthusiastic freezer on a nightly basis, mopping up my regularly exploding washing machine and visiting the wheelchair mechanic on a weekly basis. I have clearly...been fully indoctrinated into the exciting fast life of Sevilla....
But honestly I would have it no other way, as a wise British man once said to me "If your happy with your life you're not being critical enough". This is of course a joke, but seems to have some relevancy for me. I have, among other syndromes, the depressive, bohemian writer syndrome. Except this syndrome is not as sexy as Victor Hugo conceptualized, especially when your not a very good writer. You end up just being poor and depressed ;)
But Sevilla, after a long bout of rain and chill, is now beautifully warm and mediterranian. The days are long and, especially in this city, the nights are longer. Despite all the turmoil, of which i am convinced that in a past lifetime I have certainly screwed over someone in Spain, this country is extremely beautiful and with time I will certainly miss it when i leave.

2009-02-28T04:13:00.000-08:00

The irony of travelling in a wheelchair is enormous. For background info, I have landed in Sevilla Spain for about 7 months for my university's study abroad. I am living in a beautiully uaint apartment in the old Jewish quarter of Sevilla, one of the most picturesque spots in Spain i imagine. But back to the irony of disabled travel... So as followers of my blog know, I have climbed (on the back of a man) to 6000 some-odd meters in Nepal's himilayas, yet today in Spain i was not allowed to board a train. I have chosen my words carefully as I could have boarded the train physically with some help, as I have done frequently in Costa Rica, Peru, Nepal, Germany ... among other countries, yet was not allowed to because the conducter did not want to have me on the train, it was too much trouble. I was dumbfounded, ticket in my hand, paid for in full, on the platform with a small step between me and the train, and I was not allowed to board. I thought about making a run for it, hoping velocity would get me over the step, or punching the conductor, both i reasoned would end badly. The agent for 'Servicios especiales' (special needs services) looking pathetically lazy, repeated over and over that because their was no platform for the wheelchair the conductor did not want to have me on the train. So my spanish is adaquet enough to get the necessary information accross and I repeated in response that 'with help i xcould walk on the train and the chair could go in cargo or at least where the bicicles go. Well each time I said something, the conductor shook his head and feverently said i cannot travel on his train. After an exasperating 20 minutes i watched the train leave, feeling thoroughly pissed off, I headed to the elevator. The conducor proceeded to give me his recomendation, that i should travel with an 'companero', now it is very important to emphasise the masculine form of this word as in spanish you have the option of referring to nouns in feminine or masculine. What the conductor meant was i really should travel with male accompaniment. It was then that i realised my wheelchair was not the issue it was my vagina. So as i have learned repeatedly being a woman in this world has turned out to be a far greater disability than my actual disability. So after saying "Gracias culo', Thank you asshole, (must admit not my finest buddha moment) I went up to the sales office to be reimbursed. There was no sign that there was anything wrong in not allowing a passanger on the train, this was normal and in someway my fault as i travel alone and really should know better as to travel with a man.
So Spain... beautiful, laidback, and completely accessible if your with a man.

Will relay more adventures muy pronto!
Besitos de Espana!

2008-12-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

Being a wheelchair user is a bit like being a drug addict, specifically when it comes to repairing or updating your wheelchair. Recently, I have gone into the blackest markets of Los Angeles, sneaking down dark alleys behind nursing homes and special education schools to find tires which I have been waiting for Medicare to deliver. Like crack, I really don’t want to buy $500 tires and yet I need them desperately, and Medicare well I suppose, after 6 months of waiting, are hoping I'll outgrow the disability before they have to pay for new tires.So once paying the scruffy Permobil user for the tires, shoving them in the back of a van, I needed to find a special mechanic to actually put them on the chair. Wheelchair mechanics my friends, are far worse then regular mechanics as they prey on the Medicare abandoned wheelchairs users who have no where else to go, and are a bit more desperate for a working wheelchair than most are for a working car. And then as every wheelchair using woman knows, showing a bit of leg will get you access to the good stuff. The air modulated seats with knitted cotton covers, hydro electric backlights, impenetrable tire tubing, electric shorts increasing speed and the holy glory of it all, the massaging, heated, pressure sore sensitive back seat.Yes this is the dark hidden world of disability, and just think I haven’t even described the amputee black market.

2008-06-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

I'm back writing again, though it is not from some exciting place in the middle of the Himilayas or Latin America. Just Washington DC. As i write I am a bit bored stiff sitting in the Subcommittee on International development office, though seems like everyone is frantically rushing around doing very important things I'm sure....
I was put right to work this morning doing some spanish translation from letters from Cuba to Barak Obama, which was interesting. I realized my technical spanish wasn't too good though it all came out pretty good. I was actually quite surprised at how easy it was, suppose all those years paid off, it will be so great if I could really get a solid spanish basis with all the practice here.
Anyway, I really love DCthe city itself, have been all opver the city this weekend which was so lovely, since I can get everywhere so easily. It was funny, this morning i came into woerk by metro and seemed to blend in (besides the wheelchair) with all the suits. I never imagined myself with a starbucks coffee, suited up, with a newspaper being one of the masses, going to my government office job haha! Don't even need to get out of the country to experience an entirely different culture eh??
Its interesting though, i will be going to a breakfast briefing with the Iraqi parliment tomoerrow, then to a hearing on Guantonomo Bay. I think this committere is really going to be great, it covers such a wide spectrum of policy. Today, because of my teaching experience abroad, got called in to help out witth a new legislative bill where the US is offering 30,000 scholarships to students from underdevelolped countries to study here. It was great though at how plainly they stated their motive "To promote a positive image and repair past actions of the US". Well at least their honest about it.
Well I'm living in a apartmenty at George Washington, which is really great, theres lots of stuff arounfd and its close to the metro, plus I have a full kitchenb so me and my friend are going to be cooking there a l;ot, especially since food is expensive. No idea why but i think having adishwasher and a stove plus having to buy groceries has made me feel likean adult,. Funny thing how wierd things like that can do that to you. An yway, better figure out something to do besides blogging, don't think trhey will be too happy about that

2007-08-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

I got these quotes off of the Ouch! website, and thought i had to share them with all of you lovely people. I particularly enjoyed the one of the disabled playboy mate, i do think emma will particularly appreciate it.

Rebellion against your handicaps gets you nowhere. Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world - making the most of one's best.
Harry Emerson Fosdick

You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It’s plucking your eyebrows. That’s how I originally got pierced ears.
Geri Jewel

Although there are many barriers facing people with disabilities today, the single greatest obstacle we face as a community is our own sense of inferiority, internalized oppression and shame.
Sarah Triano

Suicide prevention for you, but suicide enhancement for us. … Society wants the disabled community to have access to a dignified death when we want access to a dignified life.
Gregor Wolbring

… if I have a bad day, it's all over. It's always because of my disability. "Oh, that poor girl, she's upset because she has a disability" and I'll say, "No, I'm upset because my boyfriend left me." "Oh, because he couldn't deal with the disability?" "No, because I slept with his best friend".."Oh, you slept with his best friend because you were feeling bad because you have a disability.”
Ellen Stohl (first playboy playmate with a disability)

I like to shop at factory discount stores. Clothes marked irregular fit me fine.
Brett Leake

I dropped a hammer on my foot. I said, ouch, I bet that hurt.
J.D. England

I know it's not politically correct to call myself handicapped. I'm supposed to say physically challenged or developmentally disabled. But I don't have that kind of time.
Chris Fonseca

On my income tax 1040 it says ‘Check this box if you are blind.’ I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.
Tom Lehrer

Anyway went to a Save Tibet protest in San francisco, stratigically on the day that the torch was to begin in San Francisco for the 2008 Bejing Olympics. It was quite lovely and there was around 300 people there, mostly tibetan refugees and citizens. We marched from the Civic Center to the Chinese Embassy. Though i have to say after my experiences abroad and some research i've done its so difficult to to conjure up hope that Tibet will have a peaceful and independent future. I specifically say 'save tibet' instead of 'free tibet' because their is no longer an option of freeing tibet, at least in my opinion. For all those who believe this is a spiritual domination are far off base, it is purely economic. Tibet no longer belongs to tibetans, the last number i heard was that tibet was 79% Han chinese. In all logical conclusion, if Tibet was miraculously granted sovreignty, they have no means of rebuilding this counrty. The chinese have overtaken all resources and economic developments and when your in bed with the Chinese your strayjacketed there for life.
So i must say, we almost have to take the Dalai Lama's words to heart and stop resisting. So strange to say that though. After seeing all the horrific things the Chinese have done.

2007-07-30T01:56:00.000-07:00

I have noticed recently that when in conversation with people i rarely hear the phrase "for a person in a wheelchair" anymore. This simple omittance of this perpetual phrase I feel symbolizes a boundry crossed, I am no longer respected for the 'stuff' i do within the confines of the wheelchair, but now it seems i have crossed this boundry into being respected within the able-bodied world. I am no longer smart "for a person in a wheelchair," no longer brave for "for a person in a wheelchair," no longer active "for a person in a wheelchair," but have been simply lifted from the confines of this phrase and am free to roam the two worlds of the able and disabled.
I only mention this because i feel this is one of the biggest hinderances for people with disabilities. They may reach great heights and achieve amazing things but it is always within this percieved world of "for a person with a disability." I could go to nepal and sit in a hotel room for 6 weeks drooling in a corner and i would probably come back and recieve comments like "God, what amazing things you do for a girl in a wheelchair." Which is such a double edged sword, because yes it is far more difficult for people with disabilities to travel however it seems we are not held responsible. Responsible for our own ability to achieve our greatest potential, the expectation level is absurdly low. I am continually asked with hopeful smiles by strangers if im able to attend community colllege, like this is the holy grail for any person in a wheelchair. If community college for example is portrayed by society as the greatest educational achievement by a person with a disability of course not many will look beyond.
Maybe it is due to this societal view that i need to push boundries, (Para gliding in Nepal, Mountain Trekking in Nepal, Para sailing in Peru, Sand surfing in Peru, Climbing Macchu Picchu, Ziplining Costa Rica.)
But it makes me think if my mind is still in the mode of "for a person in a wheelchair" or is my view of the world beyond those psychological limitations.

2007-07-11T23:32:00.000-07:00

Ahh back home! For the first time in my life i am happy to come home! This is not saying that i disliked nepal, but rather I highly treasure Nepal. I left a country for the first time content with my efforts, experiences and struggles. This is not saying i experienced the entirety of Nepal, for that is quite impossible, but for the period of time in my life and the duration of time i stayed, i honestly feel i gained what i was meant to gain. It's funny, thousands of travelers come to Nepal seeking spiritual enlightenment or redemption, both commonly helped along by the national weed, and supposedly find this great enlightenment atop the Himalayas and in the beautifully ancient temples and monasteries. However, i have realized for myself i have found the hidden sanctuary/monastery on the streets of Kathmandu. Sounds utterly insipid after all my bitching, but i believe that the only place i was confronted with having to deal solely and absolutely with myself was in the busy, shit filled streets of Kathmandu. True Buddhism... It is ever so easy to give up 'material' objects to venture into the lush forests and mountains of nepal where you are isolated in the sanctuary of life, protected from the literal shit of life. This is of course only My opinion, that of a relatively naive 18 year old.

reflecting, i realized i truly was thrown into the 'real Nepal' having to fend for myself and living the very hard life of Nepal. No matter how much i travel and try and relate i will always be a 'white girl from America.' And it is both arrogant an naive for me to believe that i can be melded into such a complex culture on pure will.

It may seam i have become airy fairy but in actuality i feel i have become more realistic and hopefully, more effective. I probably will not volunteer with children again. I love children but this is not where my passion nor my strength is and although i would not give up my volunteer experience for anything i have discovered my skills are stronger elsewhere. I feel that i had to prove to myself that i could live without electricity, running water, that i could hand wash clothes in the florescent colored water of the river, cook dal bhat on an open fire, teach children, live in one of the poorest nations, deal with political violence, climb the Himalayas etc etc. Now that i have done it and however foolishly labeled myself 'capable enough' i am now focusing on my strengths hopefully.

People look at me and automatically assume the hardest part of volunteering in third world countries with a disability is purely physical. Quite the opposite. Maintaining my self confidence and my belief in my value ability has by far been the most difficult. When i say that i volunteer most assume i just drool in the corner and that it is quite enough that i was 'brave' enough to fly in a airplane all alone (note sarcasm) to sit in the corner. I have whenever volunteering, had to fight to work. Literally overstepping boundaries to prove i could do it and do it well. It has made me question however if this is the best or the most helpful. Yeah, i have proven i can get on my knees slam wet clothes against rocks in green toxic rivers till clean, make dal bhat for 30 kids over a fire with utensils from the stone age, and teach English with a speech impediment, but really is this the full use of my skills and strengths? Do i serve humanity to my fullest capacity doing this? A question to further ponder...

Well, no worries my adventures have just begun, they are merely evolving, or devolving however you see it!

more soon

2007-07-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

Completely and utterly satisfied!! If you've wondered where ive been for the last 5 days i have been trekking in the Himilayas. In the AnnaPurna Range to be exact. I know Emma, I mnust get over the habit of riding men up mountains :)! Really, it was quite unimaginable, no wheelchair, snoiwcapped mountains towering above utterly utterly astounding. I was a little anxious about going on a 5 day trek without my wheelchair, thus leaving me quite dependent, somthing everyone knows is my worst nightmare, but it was surprisingly freeing. No worries about rain, steps, the very creative and natural toilet situations. Plus i was with three men for the 5 days, no women which was an experience in itself. I hired two porters, Ganesh and Milo, then a guide Kharda, all of thewm have really brightened my outlook on nepali men i must say. They were so good and worked so hard, imagine 8 hours a day carrying me up incredibly unstable paths,through waterfalls and paths along mountainsides that i was saying goodbye to you all on. I know you all are thinking how about the toilet and such? Well, long skirts are a saviour and all they had to do was hold me up, but still they were so good about it. We stayed in these 'guest houses' which were nice, they had bed but they were in these makeshift barnyard style rooms with planks as walls. It was so so great to be up in the most remote villages because alot of times we stayed with families and it was so nice to be introduced into the 'real' nepali life. Ate amazing dal bhat, though it was really expensive since it was carried all the way up the mountain, also had thew most amazxing pickled marajuana seeds on potatoes. Marajuana is everywhere up there so i suppose it was found to be useful for more than one thing!
Anyway, my body is very sore fromthe bedsheet they tied around my bum then over their head, but the poor guys today left limping slightly they were so sore!! Poor things, i will mioss them they were good guys, they all had kids even though they were very young and they were very funny. Everyone would take the piss out of milo in the morning because he looked like the infamous yeti of the himilayas when he got up in the morning.
At the very top of the trek i was able to see full view of the Anna purna range, it was freezing but so aweinspiring, got many photos biut doubt it will do justice. Anyway will share more once returning home, i will work for the next few days then if all goes well will be home within a week or two.
Love you all and thank you for the notes, i can't wait to see each and every one of you!

2007-06-30T04:47:00.000-07:00

Hello All,
Lots has happened since the last post. I have now moved to Pokhara which is in central nepal and it is so much nicer. Much like a village though it is considered a city. And my god we arte at the base of the Himalayas, the Annapurna Range to be exact completely astounding. When i go to work at seven in the morning i am just accosted with this majestic beauty, and itr is so unassuming too. I walk this dirt road to the orphanage i worek at now and theres lush rolling hills, cows and cowshit everywhere as well as yaks. Thenm you look up and the clouds are at the base of the hills then these enourmous white mountains tower over you, very unreal. Anyways, very much enjoy Poklhara's village like feel, and when goiung along the road nowall i have to look out for are the yaks, cows and suicidal chickens that seem to periodically bash themseves into my wheels. Oh also the leeches, they are a bit frighteningfg. I a not kidding when i say that they run at you to leech onwhen it rains as it oftewn does here, i see then running towards my wheels, climbing then then trying to latch on, quite disconcerting. But i was told to take up smoking to burn them off w the tobacco, but i have settle with carrying around chewing tobacco. I work with another volunteer, Nikki, from England who is absolutely lovely. I really adore her and it seems as if we haave known each other for ages. Though i am faced with the age old problem of everyone referring to her and believing that she is my caretaker. People constantly ask her what kind of food\tea i like or want, if i need to go to the toilet, if i,m hot/tired/upset/ able to pee on my own/ can talk/etc etc. But at this point in life, i am too trired, too warn out, too hot and am too preoccupied with taking care of myselfd and working to really give a flying fuck. Though we look after each other, she helps me get in places and i go on 'dates' with nepali men that are a little too foeward, so i ward them off her,
Which reminds me, Nepali men are probably , this is very much generalizing, most irritating group of people i have ever known. Its almost indescribable what is so frustrating and insipid about them but just the fact that when i am reading a book outside, tey literally sit down beside me and stare at me. By the end of one chapter i accumulate at least 3 or 4. Plus it seems there is always alterior motives behind everything, plus they have noproblem driving my wheelchair without asking. The other day this abnoxious guy kewpt driving the chair whilst i was reading ad i kept slap[ping his hand saying 'no garne' (dont do that) and finally i gave him a huge slap in the face, far stronger than i had wanteed but it sort of stunned him and he went off.
Well, i am working with Nikki andl 27 kids, and i have finally questioned why exactly i am working with kids, not that i dont love them, just that i defenently will not be pursuing anything with kids later on. But i suppose this is where help is most needed. The kids at the orphanage i work at are all Tibetan, fromn a region called Upper Mustang. This region is so facinating because it liuterally isd an adjunct to tibet and is so so remote and desolate. the nepali gov, makes tourists pay at least 75 $ a day too visit because its quite dangerous and remote. Supposedly they even have their own kiing and queen, and really interesting fact is that when the elder brother marrys a woman shwe marries all the brothers in the family, different eh? The kidsa are rascals and are really wonderful but a very obvious hard life. The home is run by this darling monk, i love him to death, you feel the urge to just hug hi, when you meet him. I work 7-9 in the am and then i work at the managers office writing english brochures and info etc, then work from from 4-8 in the orphanage, not bad. Saturdays are holidays for the kids so today we took all of them to the lake which was lovely, i turned into a lobster though! The kids loved to swim and collect foish with their scarves, plus one mudhole really attracted them and it was quite hilarious to see 27 llttle naked children covered from head to toe ibn mud running accross the fields.

Still difficult but it is worth it, will be happy to come home and sure i will appreciate te struggle.
So happy to hear from you Chris your words are always so touching and good for the ego! Do hope to see you very soon!
Uncle Nicky!!! See your bored enough in meadow view (?) to check my blog!! just joking really really happy to hear from you, Yes i have not seen one handicapped person so maybe thats why i seem to be a rolling show as well as an ATM!;)
Miss Emma u got my email of secrets so that i hope will kep u occupied for a while!
love you all and please write, i am horrible at responsding but know i really really love notes.

2007-06-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

I remember this movie i watched when i was a kid 'Matilda' i believe? Anyway i feel like im turning into the evil headmistress Ms Hunchable(??) with my little children. The school disipline is much like if not worse than Peru, I was handed a long bamboo stick the other day and they told me to beat them if they got unruly. no worries the kids are not abused in the orphanage and are treated with love as far as the resources are available. But anyway, none of you would recognize me in under the tin cowshed roof where i teach, yelling at the kids, looking at them with that dominating look we all get from our mothers. So far its worked, this is not saying that i've lost my kindness :) but i have got surprisingly tough. Probably could be said irritable, my dear Emma you have competition now i believe :). But the bamboo stick was thrown away at the dismay of the orphanage aamaa (mother). My little collection of children is increasing from the origional 13 to now 17, some of the orphans bum from village to village living from hand to mouyth, working on locals sympathy, so when thewyv pass through thisa orphanage i get to harrangue them for a few days. Its so strange to see these 6 year old vagabonds, witrh a sac over their shoulder and knowing far too much of the world. My hours are irreguylar since i teach the whole day when the 'bandhs' are on in k'du and only after school when school opens.

I live in a good hostel thouygh there is a bloody korean nightclub above which loves to have kareoke a frikin night. The hostel is run solely by young men which is funny because supposedly they have never seen an american girl travel alone before and love to play with my chair. Their good guys and they usually buy me drinks after work, much needed, and talk about the japanese girls their in love with! Its very entertaining, plus one is madly in love with one of my friends from soka that lives here, so whenever i go out witrh her i try to invite him along.

thamel where i live is the tourist area so quite expensivce to eat, but i was extremerly happy to find a very local resturtaunt near me, it was a bit worriesome when one of the guys brought me there though. He is completely trustworthy but this resturaunt is down a dark sketchy ally filled with cannebis fumes, quite an adventure. But i can get a mountain of good spicy dal bhat with chicken for 60 ruppees ( 90 cents ) rather than the pasta or western food for 300.

Anyway, i am safe and doing alright for the moment, no worries really, ill talk to you all soon.

more updates soon,

namaste

2007-06-19T07:54:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking lately, for the most part because i've been quite ill with either a horrible cold or food poisioning, and if i would ever have a word that can describe the people of nepal it would be 'resignation.' Knowing full well that this is a horrendous generalization and merely comning from a foriegner only having been here 20 days. However i think within my delerium that this is my greatest struggle here. I only thoughjt of this while reading the autobiography of Che Guevera, a necessity of any college student i must say, and realizing the percieved passion and fire lacking here for social injustice. While i do not advocate nepali's running into the streets and starting a social revolution, for even with all the glory the contant revolutions within Latin America recieve it is quite obvious the latin American societies do a full circle revolutionizing the revolution, I feel theres this apathy within daily life. I was going to be sent to teach english in this very rural village up in the Himalyas next week however the local 'bandh's have closed the schools and everything else for 5 weeks!! Five weeks these children are not getting educated, not to mention the other various bloody bandh s during the year!! Remarkable, no f#$% wonder literacy level is so low. i apologise but seriously...

Also the books i teach the children at the orphanage out of are incorrect and the assignments the english teachers send home are completely wrong. A few days ago one of the girls Jennishaa brought home a notebook having her copy the word 'aeroplent.' Don't know about anyone else but i've never heard of the word, and of course because children have innate faith in their teachers and books, they are ever so reluctant to make the corrections i point out. Though we are making progress......slowly but surely.

Today i watched idly, before i began Che's biography and realized that i was sliding into the habit of Nepali lethargy, a cow. Now i know this really souds like im off my rocker but bear with me, the cannabis fumes have not gotten to me yet. This cow was plodding away down the middle of this highway, very slowly, very malnurished and i even saw a lunitic motorcyclist hit it, yet it kept plodding along. Without being horribly arrogant or niave or whatever you may call me, i feel this is quite symbolic of this country. Just slowly going down this global highway mistreated, submissive, starved, not going to kick or scream, yet also in a strange way resiliant. People are determined to live here, whatever standard of living they may accept. It drives me so f#(&%^ mad though, i must say.

Upon my reinvigoration by the latin american 'fire,' either that or my stomache has purged itself of any apathy or self-pity i have left, I am going trekking daily with Carga's wife in the kathmandu Valley. I decided that for the first time i really dislike the place im at so until i leave for Pokhara, a smaller city in trhe mounbtains, next week, i am going to explore! i havbe always prefered nature to cities so i am going to explore nepals notorious wild.

Like it was said in the beginning i am here because i need to learn somthing, however painful the lesson may be. At this juncture i have to think that i need to really understand the meaning to 'you make your own life and your happiness,' So frustration and self- pity which for me often leads to physical implosion, have led me to anger ultimately lighting a fire unfder my ass. Which believe me was dearly needed.

rest assured though, i know many are thinking this, i do know when the line of 'is it worth it?" has been crossed. And in fact i'm thinking of returning home early August insatead of late.

Thank you so much Ariana, i love you too and kiss Dante for me, you'll get used to the smell :)!

And Elany thank you for your antedotes, while i have not encountered a caste system here i know i would in india, pleas keep writing!

And Betty and Russ, sorry to hear of the heat, its monsoon season here so its blistering hot and it rains!!!!!! Glad you two are well!

much love namaste

2007-06-14T00:16:00.000-07:00

Very very tired so just a forewarning that this entry may not be quite as lucid, not like any of them really are. Recently i have been working twelve hour days, not including the walk to and home from the orphanage. No worries this is changing today, i am only going to work a couple hours in the morning, from 6 till 10, otherwise I'm going to be in a bit of a state. The kids are wonderful and are learning quickly, they are really wonderful to be with but I'm having a very hard time with the director and adults constantly asking for money. I'm not sure3 why it bothers me so much but its constant harassment and always dropping hints like we really need a TV telephone clothes, mobiles. Plus now the neighbors are coming over to the orphanage with their children saying they don't have any money to send their children to school. Its strange that now its such constant harassment i feel like not giving any money, not that i can afford it anyways. But I'm giving money to my program director to buy rice and dal for them forthis month, this way I'm not giving money directly to them and yet helping. i apologise if this seems like a depressing post but Kathmandu is definitely not my favorite place, its actually quite depressing. The people seem to have this desperation that i know is valid but so hard to be around when u are looked at like a rolling ATM. It sounds horrible that i am saying this since this was the reason i came, but i was expecting the culture naively to be similar to Latin America, which i felt connected to.Don't get me wrong people here are wonderfully helpful and kind, it just thew negative aspects are a bit overwhelming. Kathmandu is very polluted and as said before very much a city of rubble and broken down colonial era houses.
My hostel is wonderful and they built a ramp for me to get in an out since there is no other accessible hostel which is under 300 rupees. I have met up with my friend Yuko from Soka that lives here, we had a nice time out with her friends, all off the elite diplomat class. I'm meeting other volunteers slowly, but its still a bit lonely, all well, i welcome the experiences good and bad!!!!!!
more later now malaai nindraa lagkyo (I'm sleepy!)
PS Thank you elany, your comments are wonderful i love to hear from you and your experiences here!! Love to hear from everyone!!
Meg

2007-06-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

Namaste everyone!!

This week has been so incredibly hectic and frustrating though exciting all the same. I have now moved into a hostel where I'm living on my own near the tourist district of Thamel. With all the patience o could conjure up, i still could not stand having to be dependent upon someone to carry me up the three flights of stairs, and not being able to go out whenever i want. even though its a bit lonely, it seems my independence trumps all. Plus there's a lot more to do and see here. The hostel is definitely rugged but nice, i have running water and electricity most of the tome. Plus i only have to walk (roll) half hour to the orphanage where I'm working. This is quite nice since i go there at 6 in the morning till 10 when they go to school and then come back bout 6 till 10 in the evening. Long days but the kids are really good. There's only about 12 which is quite enough, but easily manageable, plus they are remarkably well behaved..so far...

One boy Soloman is quite brilliant, I've been teaching English to most of them and he picks it up very well. He's also taken a liking to teaching me Nepali which is quite needed.

To be very honest its very hard here, very very rugged. I definitely feel like one of those stereotypical volunteers who turn into these unshaven, dreadlock wearing people, who sit on the edge of the mountain chanting OM. No worries not quite there yet. The roads are the most horrible kind of combination of mud, gravel, rock and broken cement, of which i sincerely hope my chair survives. The toilets are worse than Peru because its a novelty to find a western toilet, they are all squat toilets which i have to do acrobats to aim in, but getting used to it. Plus they all have open facets on linoleum so the floor is always flooded, making it amazingly slippery.
The Nepali culture is very unique, at times it drive me insane but all to do with culture shock i suppose. Due to high unemployment and poverty levels there is a lot of loitering done by men, and i say men because the women work at least 19 hour days holding a job plus caring for the children household and what not. But they unabashedly stare at me, its quite funny when i actually stop traffic, with the people staring .
The other strange thing is 'bandh's which close down the entire city, schools, shops, offices and traffic. A volunteer couple from Sweden told be that when they were teaching in a village, 5 out of the 6 weeks they were there the schools were closed because of 'bandh's.' Usually they are organized by marginalized groups such as the native tribes, but like Badri jokingly said, i could announce a 'bandh' for marginalized disabled! All i need was a press conference and to burn a few tires and cars and effigy's in the middle of the city. But anyway i don't mind bandh's since i can ride on the road without traffic.
Anyways more later and i will post pics as soon as i can, sorry Melissa!
And Michelle i am deeply deeply saddened by your rejection.............
Jack, loved to hear from you and Doreen, i think of you often!!!
:P
Meg

2007-06-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

hello!!!

Hope everyone is well!! Arrived in Katmandu a few days ago, forgive me for the time lapse, i have composed this thing over three days because the electricity keeps going out. Like Sovahn said Katmandu is like stepping into history, there's more carts and bikes on the road than cars yet because of the new ridiculous investments in vehicles made by the King there are extraordinarily expensive cars like Rolls Royces going around the cows and yaks in the road. There's open fires everywhere and people cooking Dal Baht, which is quite delicious by the way, many of the roads are lined with tents and makeshift homes. unlike in Lima the shantytown is actually within the city and their is only a few pockets of wealthy areas, mostly around the Palace and Prime ministers home. The only way to really describe Kathmandu is that the rural villagers and farmers have basically brought their farm to the city in the mists of dilapidated post-colonial homes. Right now i look out my window to a good size maize, bean and potato patch and am woken up at 5 every morning to the neighbors rooster. Scared the shit out of me the first night to see a yak staring at me through my hotel window. Also its completely normal to see a herd of cows laying in the middle of the pseudo highway. But i love it really, it has such depth and character. its truly unlike anywhere I've ever been. I live with my program director Badri, his wife and their two year old daughter, Arati. She is darling and I love her to death, she calls be Didi which is 'older sister' and i call her 'Bhohini' which is younger sister. Her mother and father both work, so until i start my work i look after her along with Badri's nephew. I never knew it was so difficult to go to the bathroom with a 2 year old around, i finally gave up shutting the door! Ill send pictures soon. But the house is actually on the third floor of a very rundown old colonial house, a Sherpa, Hartaga, i have hired carries me and my wheelchair up which is incredible! I also can't easily take the taxis which are rickshaws or tiny one seat cabs, so i am driving my chair literally across the city. On average i do about 15 kilometers which is tough because i am in the road fighting for roadspace along with the motorbikes, rickshaws, cows sheep, Mercedes, and tractors. Quite a sight. But Hartaga goes with me which is really nice since there is no signs or decent maps around. over the past few days i have visited the temples around Kathmandu, which are truly remarkable. Yesterday i went to the Monkey Temple, a huge Tibetan Buddhist temple overlooking Kathmandu, it was so gorgeous with the prayer flags cascading from the top of the temple down the mountain. I had to walk with Hartaga to the bottom of the steps and it was a little shocking because tens of people started to crowd around me and touch my hair and try to lift my legs and pull me this way and that. Quite hilarious sight it must have been. But then a young man picked me up and started carrying me up the millions of stairs, and his friends started carrying my chair up. Hartiga said it was the nepali version of thew 'white night' fairytale. Anyway, he was very nice and it was lovely talking to him in broken nepali atop this mountain. At this point i am visiting different orphanages and disabled homes to see of where i might be of best use. It looks like i will be teaching in this very poor disabled home on the outskirts of Kathmandu for 5 days a week then a local orphanage 2 days a week. Both are in these basic cow sheds with a hole in the ground for the toilet. I am quite shocked that i have managed to figure out how to go to the bathroom here, it is far worse than peru and needless to say very organic. The one where I'm living is a very small room that has a open faucet for the shower and the toilet is off the ground but doesn't flush.
The food here is good but heavy, i have bhat(rice) three times a day, and i have dhal bhat (rice with lentils) at night and bhat with eggs in the morning.
Anyway before the power goes off i will save more for the next blog.
Namaste

2007-03-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

Well still off to Nepal for 3 months to work in an orphanage and to teach a bit of school, though as the time draws near i am getting a bit anxious. I suppose when i took off for Latin America i had naivity on my side. In truth i still do because Asia is so foriegn to me, yet in hindsight of the events that took place in Latin America, i know the potential of how things can go wrong!!
However, I am adventurous enough to take to heart Mark Twains quote, and there is no way i will "vegetate in one corner of the earth" for any period of my life.
Hell, if things become critical i will pay a man to carry me everywhere... such a hardship eh?:)
No, quite honestly it looks like for the beginning of my stay in Kathmandu i will be staying with a host family, and if that is too difficult either on me or the family i will stay in a local hostel which from the website looks fairly nice. I am a bit worried about transport. The director of my program told me i would be using the taxies, however the info from my Nepali friend at university the taxies are very small. So unsure about how my power chair will fit. Though in Peru i was able to fit the chair into the caravan type volkswagons., so who knows.
Anyway, will be an exciting adventure which may last only a few days if things dont go as planned or 3 months!!!!!!!

2007-01-20T18:59:00.000-08:00

Just a little update, my application is in and just got confirmation on my acceptance. So looks like a green light, however as i tell everyone i cant say im definently going until im on the plane but it looks good. I signed up for a position at the medical post in a northern village but they said they would recommend me teaching in a school once again or working in a home foer people with disabilities. Very much like what i have done in the past but as ive found out you can make anything an amazingly new experience. So the only shitty aspect is that it will cost 1200 for a plane ticket, but so worth it.
Looks like no electricity and cold bucket showers (ohhh how i have missed thee), so looking for portable generators for my wheelchair. Amazing what you can do with the right tools.....
So at this point just vamping up the communication and triple checking any details that would prevent my going..
Ahhhhhhhh, happy......

2007-01-15T15:10:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone,
Well it has been ages since i last blogged and no one reads this anyomore but for those that do, it looks like my next destination is Nepal. After being at university for some months im getting severe travelers itch, so looks like nepal for three months is going to scratch it. It's looking like ill be interning for Hands for Help Nepal, in the sustainable development arena, perfect eh?
But it's not set in stone and for those who know my travel plans they seem to inevitably change, though it looks like this one is pretty solid.
Thought i would share my friends metaphor for my traveling itch, she said,' It's like when you travel you continually fall in love, with the people, culture and everything about the country your in. And when you leave you are heartbroken, the only way for you to get over your last love (country) is to go on to the next." I thought it as pretty acurate and quite funny so anyways, hopefully my next lover will be Nepal.
We will see................

2006-05-22T14:13:00.000-07:00

Huacachina -Sand Duning- Nazca Lines-Peru

Jade in our Honeymoon Suite, (only room on ground floor)
The only road in Huacachina
ATV's we rode up to the sand dunes
Me at the only resturant in Huacachina -the Banana Shack
Sun going down when i wandered a bit to far from the hotel

Watching the sun go down over sand dunes

David, me, jade and another traveler on a sand dune overlooking Huacachina

Me going down a 100 foot sand dune in the ATV

David after a afternoon in the sun

Our Hotel

Jade already happy for the night

Our hotel

Road to Huacachina

The boardwalk around the oasis

Sand Dunes around hotel

Road to Huacachina

Sand Dunes in Early evening

Town of Pisco (yes, of the Pisco Sour)

Up in the airplane flying over Nazca lines

Jade and I in airplane, about to get sick

On Top of a sand dune we just surfed down

David sunbathing, as usual

Outside bedroom window

Getting lost near the town of pisco

2006-05-12T13:46:00.000-07:00

Now that I have been home for a week and a half I have realized how much I have changed and how much the people around me have changed, whether it's for the better or worse. Culture shock is in full fledge at this point and everything around me is starting to really piss me off, feel a bit like my sister Emma. Like this ball of agitation is just growing and sporatically firing off at random moments and at unsuspecting people, my poor mother usually is in the line of fire. Hopefully I will not offend anyone in this blog but thought i would share my thoughts on coming home and it's nothing personal just this is i suippose the best way to do the least damage, plus don't think anyone is reading this anymore anyrate.
But i find conversations fairly irritating, it's like there is no interaction anymore, people talk over each other either to bitch about inane things or to restate the same opinion that everyone else is saying yet is strangly sounds a bit different when they say it.
I think the difficult part for me is to realize that the relationships i had before i left have changed with no fault on either party but need to be modified or morphed into something else. I don't really know how to put it into words but whoever reads this will really think i have contracted some strange parasite.
To be quite honest, i have not honestly shared the details and feelings of my trip with anyone yet, everyone seems to want to know the happy bits and the drunken roomate bits, but not the real Peru or Costa Rica. Partly due to me not being forceful and I do realize it is my fault but no one seems interested.
I Suppose the conclusion is that there needs to be a Returnee support group....

2006-05-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,.
Back home from Peru and in the midsts of culture shock, funny how the first thing i noticed in America is the announcements in the airport saying " You will be arrested if you threaten National Security." Oh, America the fearful!!! Though i became a little too excited when i realized i didn't need to do gymnastics to get in the bathroom, the lady thought i was nuts when i came out beaming. My plane from Costa Rica to Houston was delayed so i just had to stay in San Jose with Adrian. We had the best time and went to the International Dance Festival, his ballet company danced though he didn't dance that night. Forgot how fun San Jose is, plus there are brilliant handicapped accessible cabs. Anyway after a little detour, back home.
Before i left i went to Macchu Picchu and Cusco for three days. It was incredible, unlike Costa Rica which is gorgous, it seems like Peru has this majesty, even the poverty has a strange attraction to it. I went alone and just set up tours and such, i hired a Peruvian guy to piggy back me up Macchu Picchu. That was incredible and in all honesty there is no other way to see MP except on a guys back!!! He was an Inca trail tour guide so he was used to carrying kilos up the mountain with the altitude and he was very sweet. I figured if i was traveling there i might as well see all of it so anyone traveling with a disability this is a very plausible option. Also went on tours of the Sacred Valley and nearby villages and ruins. One village in particular is quite incredible, called Ollantatombo. The ruins there are amazing and there is a story of a warrior and princess that makes it even more fairy tale like. Living in Lima you forget what fresh air is like and what greenery looks like so Cusco was a much needed breath of fresh air.
It was hilarious traveling alone there, the Peruvians could not believe a disabled woman would travel alone. There was one point where i was trying to board a train and asked for some assistance and the train manager was saying 'Let's wait for your party" I responded with 'No I'm traveling alone thanks" which he then said "No really ma'am lets wait for your partner" then I said " Seriously, i am traveling alone". Anyway this went on for ten minutes until we had 5 minutes until the train left and i finally said to a nearby Scotsman, "God dammit please get me on the bloody train!" Nice bloke, he was a Scot named Ian, he laughed his head off when he realized why i was argueing with this guy.
Anyway other than altitude sickness it was an amazing trip.
The last day with my kids was heartbreaking, They finally called me Senorita Megan and seriously for not really liking children before i grew almost too attached to all of them. I don't cry easily but that day i was soaked. They through a party for me and gave me gifts, it was so incredibly hard to leave, when i was going out Mario wouldn't get off the back of my chair and Joshebel was strangling me by holding my neck so hard. I was a sight when i left, mascara all over. David just looked at me and said Good God! you were only there 2 months!! Yeah well David, Jade is sending me a picture of you when you leave!!! Let see who has the water works going then!!
Anyway, lovely to be home and i want to see all of you soon!
Love
Meg

2006-04-18T12:27:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
I hope Easter or Passover was great for everyone last weekend. It was strange to be away from family during a holiday but I still bought chocolate eggs so i guess if i couldn`t have the company i had the calories. We watched the huge processions in town which were interesting. A lot of the older generation still practices self-flagilation and it was hard to see them going up and down the streets. Because of Good Friday the schools had thursday and friday off so i went to work at the elderly home for a couple days. It was wonderful and the people are so lovely. Thursday I went to their homes with some of the other volunteers for some who can`t make it to the actual elderly center. It was definently enlightening to see how people really live in Villa, most have one room and a tin roof that barely covers half the room, luckily it never rains in Lima so its pretty functional. I realized half way through the home visits that my Spanish was really not that bad they just couldn`t understand me because they speak Quechuan, the native language of Peru. Tony the manager of the elderly home was quite amused watching me try and understand what i thought was spanish, oh i really thought i was going insane.
Speaking of language difficulties we have a woman in the house now that is completely deaf and mute. I am slowly regaining what sign language i knew and it is hilarious to watch us because for some reason when i sign i feel compelled to speak spanish to her, doesnt make any sense but there you go. For a joke when i was trying to translate a conversation for her from Spanish to English to Sign she responded in Spanish sign, so again i was totally lost and had for the most part way too many languages in my head. Well ill come back barely able to speak English, it`s quite clear i can`t write any more.
The kids were monsters today, so nothing unusual and they are all great. Trying to teach them colors and shapes, working on red tomorrow so making progress.
Will hopefully write sooner,
See you soon
Meg

2006-04-12T15:29:00.000-07:00

Nothing like getting yelled at over a blog (Emma)! And Kate i just recieved your letter today, I was so so excited. Loved the pictures by the way and a letter for you should be arriving soon!
Well, havn´t written in a bit because i was in Huacachina and Nazca. Had the most incredibly fun time with Jade and David, (housemates). Huacachina is literally an oasis in the middle of the Peruvian desert, and surrounding it is these amazing sand dunes. We went sand duning and sand boarding, yes going down 100 foot dunes on a snowboard is the funnest thing i have ever done in my life! Really, if anyone comes to Peru, forget Machu Picchu, go sand duning, it is pure fun. Then the Nazca lines were next and we flew over them in a 4 passanger plane. The lines are supposedly 1000´s of years old and they are in shapes of animals and figures, they were quite amazing. Got air sick though, i swear the pilot did 360´s for 90% of the time.
It was actually interesting going with David because no other man would talk to either me or Jade. I went to check into the hotel with my passport and money and literally the owner asked me ¨where was my husband, I would rather speak to him on money issues.¨ Needless to say I would not leave and he had to deal with the disabled woman who has absolutly no idea what money is. That was better than a man asking Jade if she knew how to use the bloody key to our door.
Anyway, I realized that i havn´t written much about the kids in my class so i´ll go through quick intros..

Joshebeth- She is 5 years old with Downs and she is the most darling creature i know. Again like Sharri-Ann,she defies the stereotype of Downs in that she is a spitfire and refuses to do anything you tell her. Love her dearly nonetheless. >Her mother is very very young, I believe 20 and she has two more toddlers, but she is very loving and manages to do everything. Quite amazing.
Michel- Love him to death, he has a fixation with hair and if i let him he would bury his face in my hair all day long. Very cute, 6 years old with Downs. His mother is very very sweet and he loves Madonna.
Melany- She is 8 years old and i think she has autism. She is very difficult but as i realized she loves hugs and she will cooperate quite well given a gentler voice. Though i think she is being sexually abused, and that is where the behavioral problems stem from. Loves to have her hair done and loves James Blunt, like everyone else in South America!
Mario_ I have to say that i dont really think Mario has a disability other than not being able to speak and having ADD. He is very sweet when he actually sits down and very helpful if you give him direction. His father is great and he really cares about Mario, the only father in fact that i have met.
Mauro- Mauro to be quite honest is a kid that could warn me off ever having kids. He has severe austism but besides that he is spoiled to no end. At lunch he reminds me of Helen Keller with his sampling of every kids food. Though i have found Damien Rice puts him in a sort of a coma, it´s very strange but it works.
Roland- Another 5 year old with Downs who is very sweet but his mother is insane. She came in the other day yelling at Leslie (the teacher) and me for letting the other kids pull his hair. Seriously, he is in a class of 5 to 6 year olds, they are not going to sit quietly.
Well, there are a few others who either don´t come to school or who i really can´t write about but that is my lovely little class.
I really am starting to grow quite fond of them all. David thout i was insane this weekend when i wanted to get back early to see them.
All well,
Love all of you and can´t wait to see you all

2006-04-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

Hola,
As Emma has so kindly reminded me that in 26 days i am back home, seems almost sereal and to be honest i am not quite sure if i am ready to come home! I miss you all so much but it seems i have so much more to explore! Like possibly Chile, Brazil Argentina entire South America perhaps? But i´m sure after this month i will be ready, i do hope!
Got the scare of my life today, you know how i was bitten last thursday, well as my Mum reminded me HIV is very prevelant in the poorer communities here, so when i thought about it it threw me for a loop. I asked the Lima staff if they would tell the volunteers if the people we worked with had AIDS and they said no, mostly due to privacy but also just not knowing. So talking with the teacher today she said fortunently the boy who bit me doesn´t have it but a girl in my class does. I never quite realized the incredible seriousness of being so close to HIV, and it really really scared me shitless to think i could of contracted it. Anyway being 1000 times more careful i had a good day at work. we are doing handprints with paint on the walls, just for decoration. One poor little girl was so sick so she was held all day but the others still run around like banshees. Brought in music as well, hoping Jack Johnson or Damien Rice would slow them down. Actually worked brilliant for some of the Autistic kids, they just sat in front of the player ripping paper, it was WONDERFUL!
Going to the Nazca lines and Huacachina this weekend with David and Jade, we are actually renting out the Matromonial suite because it´s the only room on ground level so we are going to be looked at pretty strangly. Being that there is three of us and Jade and i are disabled, going to look like David has a fetish or somthing! :P
Anyway i´m getting closer with the people i live with and Jade and i are getting along well. I had to come to understand that she is dealing with what i see as far tougher and different issues with her disability than I am. She has a degenerative disease so no matter what she knows she will not get better and plus she was completely normal until age 11, so that by itself is tough enough. So anyway because she has a manual and cannot push it herself she holds onto the back of my chair when we go out. As she as ever so delicatly put it we are ¨Crips on Parade¨. She was so embarrassed at first but like i told her we are in wheelchairs already plus we are gringos, so no matter where we go we are stared at. So who the hell cares?
Love you all and hope all is well!

2006-03-31T15:30:00.000-08:00

Well for the first time in two months traveling i have finally gotten sick. Believe it was the fault of the slightly smelly tuna, or maybe just the snotty kid i was holding the other day. Either way i was worshippìng the porcilen god for a few days.
Work is going well, only got stabbed and bitten once last week, making definent progress.
Planning a Macchu Picchu trip, which i have found is the most inaccessible place in Peru.
Sorry for the very brief update will add more soon, it`s pretty late here and walking around alone at night isn`t too appealing.

2006-03-24T12:11:00.000-08:00

Having another disabled person here on this program has been very interesting and nothing like what i was expecting. Her name is Jade and she´s from Leeds, very sweet but we are so different that it is becoming very awkward when we are constantly put together. I have had to make it a point that even though we are disabled there is only so much time we can talk about what kind of tires we have or how many curb cuts we saw today. Facinating conversation, i must say it´s comprable to the last week i spent in Costa Rica. Learned some key things these past couple weeks, such as I have a real problem with people pushing me in manual chairs, i turn into the most horrid person. At the beginning they were dismantling the chair so it fit in the back of a regular car and so of course when getting out and in, it took too much effort to put it together and so they borrowed a manual chair. That lasted a day. I could literally feel my blood pressure rise and each time someone ran into the heels of the person in front i could just abiout kill someone. But we all have issues i suppose, mine just seem to be manual chairs and therapists. :) But Jade loves people to push her and actually left her power chair at home, she says it´s so social to have people around you all the time, i said my social life definently would not be improved by my being in a manual chair to say the least.
I have also learned that this Latin American male machismo works in my favor. Machismo meaning male superiority in strength and skill creating a male dominated society. But this creates guys who always help and want to show off. Like in Costa Rica i can go just about anywhere and men will always help. Last night went out with David and a pack of guys lifted me up the stairs in the wheelchair. I have stopped feeling bad about the poor guys backs and just think of it as strengthening their egos. Mind you i probably couldn´t be around guys like that too long, might have a similar reaction as the manual wheelchair.
I have had a difficult time at the Escuela Especial this week, not due to the kids or anyone in particular but the reality of the poverty and the abuse has smacked me right in the face. On tuesday i was helping this 7 year old girl in my class change her clothes and i saw the bruises and scars on the inside of her thighs. I was suspecting the abuse before because she was very inappropriate with showing her body and acting out but i have to say it was so so hard to see it. Probably the most difficult thing is that she is so poor and has a mind of a 2 year old that nothing will be done for her. Everyone is fully aware of it but can´t prove anything and there is certainly no prominant social services in Villa El Salvador, not to mention that 75% of the kids in the school are being abused in some way and so it is part of daily life. In fact the games and activities that we play with the kids are geared toward checking them for abuse or wounds that we can treat at the school. This was the first time i have actually cried for the kids i have worked with, i don´t think it was pity but just anger maybe.
Yet at the other end of spectrum there are parents who are the most lovely and caring people. They are wonderful with their children and hopefully i will visit some when we do home visits.
I am now teaching English on Sundays at the Casa de Panchia, for women factory workers who get one day off a week and they choose to take english courses. It is incredibly fun and they are so eager to learn that it´s just incredible how much they take in in the 3 hours. So i am there for the next three weeks so no big trips, though saturday will be free.
Finally cooling down a bit actually went from bloody boiling to merely boiling so making progress.
Love you all

2006-03-21T14:05:00.001-08:00

Hello everyone,
Having a great time here and have to say I got into every college i applied to with everyones help, which makes it so much better!!
I am still very homesick for Costa Rica but i think i have found my nicht here, I go to the market everyday and my housemates are quite interesting. I heard from my friend Jess who is in San Carlos, Costa Rica and she said that they kicked out another 4 people. I suppose that is what you get when spring break and a beach country are combined. The people here are in general a lot older and definently here for similar reasons, which do include the novel idea of volunteering. I have been so exhausted lately from the kids, plus i have bruises up and down my legs from restraining them. Today i got peed on, it was quite lovely with the heat. But I am getting quite close to the kids and the teachers there and hopefully we will be able to go on a fieldtrip soon, just to get a change of scenery.
Went to the street fair in Baranco, a neighboring district, it was very Peruvian and also ate cow heart. Very hot but very authentic, probably saw the cow walking to work.
Lima is definently a unique city. On the way to work there is a lookout area where you can see a large part of the city and it was very much like a Middle Eastern City. Lima is basically built on sand dunes and the houses are either shacks built up on the side of a hill or a mixture of mud and rock. Anyway you would probably have to see it to know what i{m blabbering on about.
Three weeks till the election and things are getting heated. Lourdes, one of the three top contendors, dropped 10 percent from 38 to 28% in a mere three days so it is looking like Alan Garcia, who was president in the 80{s, will actually win.
Kate- here is the address for Peru..hope to hear from you!
Bartolome Herrera N 183, Surco, Lima 33, Peru
and i hope everyone is doing well and love to hear from you, I can use my email so if it{s too dificult on the blog drop a line..
soleilmeg hotmail.com

2006-03-21T14:05:00.000-08:00

2006-03-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

Have had a very interesting few days. I have a class full of children, who quite possibly could be the most caffinated and insane creatures i have ever met. They figured out how to disengage my wheelchair yesterday and also how to turn on the power, so as can be expected i had them on leashes today. The other teachers get great entertainment when i take my class out to recess. I have three five year olds with Downs on a connecting rope in front of me, a year old baby on my lap, a three year old attached to the side and a six year old with autism on the back. No matter how much i complain they are the most precious kids i have ever met. One little girl with downs called Cynthia loves to be held and she is the most loving thing in the world. There is another girl that is almost exactly like Sharri Ann, she trys to lock me in the classroom and she will squat right in front of me when I have everyone attached and going out to recess.
I realized that i really dont want to be in El Salvador past six. There is a danger here that definently wasn{t present in Costa Rica. Villa El Salvador is more of the country poverty and there is another district right near the house, La Victoria which is definently urban poor. La Victoria, is actually a place where i really was quite scared. In fact i have never been quite so scared of a neighborhood in my life. The district looks as if it was just hit by a nuclear bomb and there is trash and filth everywhere, there are no real structures but tin and scrap wood houses built on a hill. The people are very desperate and that in time morphes itself into violence, so by my being merely white would put me at a 99% chance of being targeted and don{t know what would happen. Luckily i was with Tony who chaperoned me. With El Salvador there is a different kind of desperation and quite frankly a less violent atmosphere. I still have to be so careful where i am during the day but I am getting used to the surroundings. The people are wonderful at the school and i get along so well with the teacher who guides me in the activity planning, her name is Leslie and love her to death. The parents are wonderful as well. I am starting to realize that there are quite a few young mothers, young being under 18, and more than one disabled child in the family. I spoke to Kique, the program director, and he said that statistics are showing that 6 out of 10 teenage mothers were raped and that 4 of the 6 were incestuous, thus resulting in numerous mental disabilities in the children. Needless to say, this is definently a lot different from what i saw in Costa Rica.
Elections are being held April 6th so not to go into the political historry of Peru but i will not be going out that day. The entire military will have to be out most likly but as said before they are forever present.
Learning so much and am enjoying every minute.
Twanis from Peru

2006-03-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

My first day at the new volunteer placement, it was excellent. I am working in a district on the outer region of Lima called Villa El Salvador, it has quite an interesting history. In the mid seventies a group of about 200 families squatted on the eastern region of Lima to escape the political unrest and terrorism within the city and literally built this district from scratch. It is incredibly unique in the way the entire district is organized and how they have managed to build this self sustaining society from sand dunes. Though i have to say that it is very much a shanty town and one of the poorest in Lima. I wasn´t quite prepared to see this level of poverty, even in the poorest areas of Costa Rica could not compare to where i am placed. I am working in the Escuela Especial (Special Ed. School) and i have a class of about 4 to 7 students, all with developmental disabilities. They are great, the youngest, Michael, cannot walk so he rides on my lap all day and I try to contain the others to the classroom. Again, the school is public so it is incredibly underfunded and the classroom looks as if it is a renovated barn house. I have to say my one fear of going to the bathroom in a hole in the ground came to pass today. Had to go so bad that i couldnt wait, so with newly learned manuvears and a balancing act I actually went without falling in. Quite impressive i must say. Peru is like a huge polluted fire hole. Sorry for the description but i am sitting in the cafe without air conditioning and its 95 degrees F. The heat is somthing i really have to get used to. there is no air cond. in the school so I am wearing as little clothing as possible.
The people here are wonderful though still homesick for Costa Rica. In Peru it seems a lot more dangerous and hostile. Politically there is still very violent groups, and with the military very prevelant everywhere it´s a little disconcerting. Especially when you walk into a market and there is military with huge rifles walking about. Supposedly it is illegal to take photos of them so if i get arrested you´ll know why. Or actually if i drink the local cocoa tea i could test positive for cocaine. Fun times, always up for an adventure.
My housemates are great, very very different from Costa Rica. I think i´m going up to Maccu Piccu on the 1st so we´ll see.
Love you all.
Twanis

2006-03-12T11:34:00.000-08:00

Hola,
Arrived in Peru last night and am totally exhausted. Lima is huge!! Very built up as well. I am completely homesick for Costa Rica, i miss the staff and adrian so much, even the horrible sidewalks of Cartago. Lima is absolutly incredible in their accessability, it is completely flat and at least 90% of shops are accessible. Quite a change from Cartago where i was scaling mountains. The staff before i left gave me the most beautiful card and they all said good bye. Love them so much! Last thursday i visited Marianne and her family, it was really incredible how loving her family was. We had tea with the most delicous sweet breat and of course fabulous costa Rican coffee. Talked about a miriad of things, mostly about ticos. It was quite wonderful to go into an actual costa rican home, i think then i truly felt part of the culture. I realized my spanish has a costa rican accent to it and now that i speak spanish in Peru everyone looks at me very strangely so have to work on that. It was really hard to say good bye to Javier and the kids Friday. Though it was a perfect day. Got to crawl around on the floor after a little two year old, pretty sad that he out crawled me 90% of the time. Tought the sex ed. class on tuesday and thursday, that was interesting. My spanish held up well though used lots of sign lanuage. The parents we more open than i thought and the teenagers with disabilities knew a lot more than their parents thought so it was a great time.
Needless to say Costa Rica es mi hogar. (is my home).
I am enjoying Peru though it is hard to adjust to a completely new country after getting so attatched to another. The people here are wonderful, a lot older than the last group and mostly from the UK. My roomate Jade is also a wheelchair user and we are having a great time together. Though as we both have said , we hope we are not isolated from the group because we are the two disabled. But dont think either of us will let that happen. The staff is agin wonderful and tomorrow i will go see my volunteer placement. Again it will be at a Special education school so im very excited.
Its bloody boiling here though, its somewhere between 90 and 95 degrees and with 85 % humidity, so lots of agua.
Well anyrate, i hope everyones well and happy. love to hear about your lives. Feel quite narcasistic talking about myself all the time
Love you all

2006-03-05T14:06:00.002-08:00

And then there was one. It seems as if the shit hit the fan thursday, excuse the language, in the Cartago house. So it looks like i am flying solo for this next week, except for the staff. Thursday some of the volunteers got way out of control and well lets just say there were naked body parts and chocolat. All of this in front of Adrian and the poor nightgaurd who had no idea what was going on. Then friday morning Doña Flor, the housekeeper found bottles of vodka and tequila stashed in my room. As you may guess it was from my roomates.. wanted to get that clear. So when we all came home from work Jose the country director talked to all of the volunteers and gave them the option of going home, but some like my roomates were not given the option and basically forced to get out. Mark, Jess and I of course were in the clear since we have been watching all of this stuff happen the last few weeks, so both Mark and Jess reached the end of the program so Jess went to San Carlos and Mark to Spain. Lots of yelling and screaming occured and most blamed the staff, of course taking absolutly no reponsibility. The CCS staff were incredible and absolutly amazing in the way that they handled the situation, they even drove them all to San Jose so they ´wouldn´t have to pay for a taxi. Amazing after they all said F*** off to the driver Allan. Anyway, Mark, Jess and I felt horrible since that was CCS Cartago´s 2nd anniversary, so we bought streamers and balloons and decorated the house. Even bought a piñata. Great fun, and i still wake up to confetti in my bed.
I´m actually finding being alone in the house not so bad, Jose and Idioneth and i had ice cream and cookies, plus i get to use the laundry room, absolutly fantastic. Though i think the locals are going to miss laughing at a gringa dragging a garbage bag down the road to the laundretta. Also get to use the internet, so you will be hearing from me a bit more often. Plus at the risk of sounding totally concieted i find myself quite interesting to talk to : ).
My work placement is absolutly fantastic, i´m learning so much and find it facinating. This week i´m going to be cooking with one of the classes, still have to find a dish to make, possibly somthing that i can´t catch on fire. They are also having me teach disabled sexuality on Tuesday and Thursday, I have no idea where this came from, most likly Javier who i still won´t let practice therapy on. Told him i will let him do a physical therapy session on me if i get to practice this new Californian type of physical therapy on him. He laughed. Anyway, i get to talk to about 5 disabled students and their parents next week, in `Spanish, so they may leave enlightened or very very disturbed. Love working with the childen who have autism, they are great fun and it is facinating the way each childs mind looks at the same activity. The hardest class is the one with fully competent teenagers yet with severe physical disabilities. Maybe hits too close to home. But this week i am visiting Marianne at her house and hoipefully we will have a nice time, think i´ll bring music, watch some movies, talk about guapo ticos.
I am gathering resources for parents and Javier about possible organizations that give equipment, ie wheelchairs, communication devices, etc., and who can provide resources to the disabled in developing countries. If Barb or Melissa reads this, i was wondering if you had any idea where to look for this, you have both been so wonderful in helping me!
Also trying to wrap peoples head around the idea of independent living, though i have to say it fights against not only the mindset on people with disabilities but also the whole costa rican culture. Many of the staff here who are in their late 20´s early 30´s still live with their parents, so this is totally beyond anything they would discuss.
Leave for Peru in a week, i am having mixed feelings about it. I do believe i may get a little tired of talking to myself by then , but Cartago has really become my home. I have a favorite bakery, favorite coffee shop, the laundry lady knows me (as well as everyone on that road), and my favorite market. So it´s going to be hard to start all over again, though i am very intersested in Peruvian culture. Definently going to miss my friends here.
Well have to get back to stimulating conversation..
Love to all!

2006-03-05T14:06:00.001-08:00

2006-03-02T15:51:00.000-08:00

See that everyone is ignoring me now except for my lovely narotic sister, who last time i knew her never wanted children, Ms minch what have you done with her?
Anyway i promise to reply individually now that the cafe is only 2 miles away and there are not too many dark allys to go into.
Had a rough day today, i was talking to a 15 year old girl named Marianne today in my class, she has cerebral palsy and is pretty spastic yet so so intelligent. We got on the subject of the future and what she wants from it and i realized how incredibly lucky i am. She truly is trapped in her body, she can see, smell, comprehend everything and yet she can`t quite reach the outside world. Everyone around her completely ignores her writing her off as an invalid and when they do listen they dimiss everything she says. I talked or pointed at letters and words for some time today and she wants a husband, family, sex as everyone else yet she has absolutly no hope of achieving those goals. Then i realized that i not only had hope but i took it as a known fact of life that i was going to achieve these things. If Marianne was born in the US she would have an opprotunity to be independent, and i feel that is the sadest part, that she can be so close to programs and services yet so far away.
Anyway, Javier is still trying to get me on the floor to do some physical therapy, you can guess my response. I enjoy him though, we are talking in French now, his english and my spanish combined creates conversations like.
Will you help me with her?
Yes it`s 10:00 in the morning
Really, thank you
Though i have not told him i was pregnant yet. So i`m making progress.

Adrian came back! For three days anyway, i`m spending the weekend with him in San Jose again, so that will be fun. It`s only going to be Phillip and i in the house next week, all the other volunteers left, For a joke Idioneth and Christina (the cooks) are going to lay out a candlelight dinner for the two of us because they have never onl cooked for two people before. Hopefully we will have a lot to talk about or i may have to get friendly with Don Santiago, the nightgaurd.
The culture here has really grown on me and even after only a month i see Cartago as home. The smells of rice and beans in the morning are going to be hard to leave. Everthing here is so wam and inviting not to mention calm, even going back to Grass Valley will be a culture shock. I`m getting quite brown and am already on >Tico Time, so i may have to stay a bit longer... ;) Leave for Peru on the 11, i am extremly excited get as said before i`m living the Pura Vida life in Costa Rica.
Todo mi amor

2006-02-27T17:46:00.000-08:00

Well I call this Hangover Monday in the Cartago house, it`s quite ridiculus how many of my house mates do not know when to stop on the weekends and they can`t even work on Monday. I think this has been the toughest part for me out of all the physical and emotional challenges, i thought that the people who i would live with would be some what more mature than my high school peers, but i was sadly mistaken. The country director is trying to send a couple home but they only have a week left. But really, why would you sign up for a program that you know you have to work at yet party the entire time. Sorry, i`m just a little pissed leaving my room that smells like moldy clothes and somthing i don`t even ask my roomates about...
But on the bright side i had a fabulously sober and relaxing weekend in Uvita. The most gorgous beach on the pacific, the town has a population of app. 200 and no tourists!!! We really roughed it and stayed in a Cabina for $4 a night, it actually wasn`t bad and it was right on the beach. I m officially in love with.... my wheelchair. i figured out how to take it on the sand and went racing across the shoreline, so beautiful and so much fun. The town had about three resturants and a couple bars and that was it, great food great coconut. Went with Mark, who was really great and carried me everywhere, or at least where i couldn`t get in. And Jess who is hilarious. It isd really interesting how this program is some what a microcosim of life. You are forced to build relationships with people you will only know for a week and then break them when they leave, and repeat this over and over. Creates a lot of tolerence.
My work placement is great, i really love volunteering in the special education class where there is three students. One little girl named Lucy is the most darling creature on earth! She also shares my dislike of therapist, girl after my own heart!
Javier and i have been having some interesting conversations, he wants to make me a brace for my arm and help me stretch everyday. I say perhaps not. I swear it like a compulsion for physical therapist to fix everything they see. That`s okay we get along otherwise, maybe because i don`t understand him but who knows! I love working with the kids with Downs, one girl is just like Sharri Ann and i absolutly love her, she drives the other teachers nuts though.
My friend Kate who just returned home posted some pictures so there are quite a few good ones there.
Go to www.clubphoto.com and when it asks for a friends email type in cyndydan@hotmail.com there are a few files and click on the ones labled Costa Rica.
Love you all and love to hear from you
Meg

2006-02-22T17:37:00.000-08:00

Emma i have to say that i am quite amused with your narotic emails, I am so so glad i`m related to you mi chica! I absolutly love everyone elses sane comments, it keeps me from forgetting home!!
I am wearing a Ticas Y Nicas shirt that i bought this weekend, i guess i can`t help myself from getting involved in some kind of politcal movement. From what i have learned the Nicuraguans represent one fourth of the pop, of Costa Rica and there is major descrimination and reminds me much of California and Mexicans, Doing my part to create as much trouble as possible!
Very sad day today, heard Adrians contract is up on Friday and he`s going back to San Jose, But i think i`m spending the weekend i fly to Peru in San Jose so I`ll see him then but yo esta muy triste.
Went offroading today up in Talanapi, a rainforest near Cartago, came back looking like a drowned rat in three feet on mud. Yeah, i looked real hot. But had a great time. Phillip is always so worried i`m going to fly off a cliff so he almost sits in my lap when i drive, a little awkward since he`s 6`5. The rainforest was picturesque and got to see numerous waterfalls, there were liitle trails that took you to the most amazing little canopy beds, Didn`t see much wildlife though.
I think i am definently getting used to Costa Rican life, i seem to be eating to much and losing everything i learned for the past four years. Going to be really well prepared for college!!! Life is really like the saying ^pura Vida^
By the way Mummy i finally figured out what your time schedule is based on, it`s Tico Time, at least an hour late to everything!!! Just kidding, love you lots.
Going to Aurita this weekend with Mark and Jess, my house mates, a very small beach town on the pacific, hopefully it will be quiet and not to many fiestas.
It has been really interesting at my placement the past few days, i`ve had to talk with the parents of the children alone and in spanish, it gets quite amusing! The lack of services and money these parents recieve is astonishing. Most don`t own a wheelchair for their child and are completely unable to get required surgeries. I also realized how socially unaware they are about the abilities of their children, one girl who has mild cerbral palsy and mentally fine, is shut up in a classroom learning to match pictures at the age of 9. I know that i do not know the complete picture but definently hits a hot spot for me. All the mothers that i talk to think that you are insane, mum, kicking me out at 17 with a disability, how could you?!! ; ) Heard your renting out my room too, eh, definently makes me feel like coming home!!

Love to all

2006-02-20T13:43:00.000-08:00

hello everyone,
hope everything is going well back home, sounds like my room is going to be quite empty when i return, Emma!! I had to say goodbye to all my lovely friends at the nursing home Friday, i was quite surprised at how attatched i got to them all. It was amazing to me how an elderly home with absolutly no money and basically running on volunteers could be so loving and be such a wonderful environment. I found it quite entertaining how most of the male staff looked like they could ride harleys, yet they were the ones who made the women up and painted their nails. One guy took Hortencia, a elderly woman with downs, onto his lap and read her Winnie the Pooh in Spanish, definently somthing you never see here!!!
Today i went to the Special Education school and found it quite ironic how after all these years of hating physical therepists i am now helping to torture the poor children!! I do believe i am slightly more enlightened to the benifits of PT yet it does not quite take away 13 years of psychotic Physical Therepists`s. I was extremely surprised at the lack of resources these parents have, children can only get physical therapy maybe once a week if their lucky and the parents have to pay extrodinate amounts of money for equipment. They were quite shocked that i was here alone and that i was going to go to college, usually the children are kept at home for the parents lifespan and then institutionalized. Even the physically disabled are seperated from the ^normal^kids. I am going to counseling with the parents tommorrow to just speak about the possibilities of programs that could allow the kids to live independently and also a bit about my life. Sounds really great.
Spent the weekend with Adrian and Phillip, had the greatest time. Adrian took me to San Jose`s museums and art gallerys. The contemporary art was comperable with the one in San Fran but unfortunently they had no pictures of waste managment cans, how disappointing!! We had a really really good time at the Papaya Fest, it was a huge concert in the middle of San Jose. My favorite was Perrozompopo, a nicuraguan band, mostly rock but some reggae. Adrian is the greatest dancer, he supposedly does ballet and modern at the National dance studio. Things you learn about people when your with them long enough!

Love you all!!

2006-02-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

Hello!
I just have to say this for Ann and Ana, Costa Rica has just installed a brailled and audio voting machine in every voting poll. I find it quite remarkable that the US still is totally incompetent in that area.
Sorry for the little note, but Costa Rica just held their elections and i beleive they still don`t know who won, but most likely the one with the most money!
We had a Valentines dance at the nursing home today, they were getting pretty frisky i have to say. The women and i made cards for all of their dead husbands and judging from the black hearts and flowers they didn`t like their husbands too much. I also tried to do their make up, it was interesting how it came out a lot different than i imagined... But the danced to old ranchero type music and it was the coolest valentines day.
I had the greatest weekend, a group of us went up to the Arrenal volcano and we took a safari boat ride up through the River frio, it was amazing. we actually saw a albino monkey supposedly this kind of mutation happens only once a few hundred years so we were fortunate , wwe also saw camens which are crocidile type creatures, and sloths which remind me of a few people in my family. :P The guide was so nice and i actually left my wheelchair at the hotel and he carried me everywhere. It was nice for the day but it could definently get old with my independence complex and everything. The town that we stayed in had a huge carnival and the whole town of Fortuna was swimming in beer and people screaming with Costa Rican rock music blaring. Yeah i stayed at the hotel that night, my wheechairs electrics are not fond of beer. The roads and sidewalks are horrible but i can always get across curbs because of the little pathways over the sewers, conveinent but not so lovely. Then we went Canopy touring, it was a blast. I felt horrible for the poor guy who carried me all the way up to the first zip line, i was worried i was going to kill him, but i figured out that somehow men like to show their manliness by almost passing out with exhaustion, but it worked for me and i went on 12 lines through the rainforest. It was so gorgous and i went over this massive waterfall, it`s so much better than in pictures. There were tucans and parrots flying about beneath me. It was incredible. There was this one line that went for half a mile and you got to see straight out to the volcano, with the smoke rising and the rainforest around it. The actual canopy tour is not accessable what so ever but if you don`t mind being carried by some costa rican men you`ll do fine.
I`m still with Adrian the nicest guy ive met, he actually helped put the make up on the women today and is quite good at it so i think he has that duty tomorrow. The people here especially the men are so loving and warm, it is still a partiarcal society but it seems the women are repected more. I know when i go around town alone all these guys are right there to help me and are actually sincere about it. I don`t know Mum, i may not be coming home alone! Tou do still have the bed and breakfast right?
Love everyone and love to hear from you all.
Meg

2006-02-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

Hola everyone, sorry it took me so long to find an internet cafe. Im just outside cartago, way up in the mountains so we have to walk 4 miles to town to even find a phone. I had a pretty uneventful flight but it was so so long, i think it was about 15 hours. I absolutly love my volunteer placement, i work in an elderly home and i give facials, massages and manicures to the women all day, beleive me they have it made! I also feed the really wweak people. Got punched yesterday because no one told me that the man i was feeding had major issues with women, so that was fun. I just absolutly love the people there, they are teaching me spanish from bingo and animal cards. I actually accidently told them in spanish that i was pregnant instead of embarrassed, so they got very excited and wanted to make me baby clothes, until i figured out a way to get over that no i was not pregnant. They were very dissapointed. I have the most wonderful guy helping me out or just hanging around me for a bit, his name is Adrian, and yes Emma he is muy bonito, He is wonderful and helps me get everywhere during the day. My Spanish is awful and his English is broken so we get very good at signing. Te staff here are absolutly incredible, they make the best food ever, yes uncle Nicky, rice and beans every day. The fruit is the most amazing thing in the world, i swear they go down the street and pick it off the tree.
The house is great i share a room with a couple other girls and i was a bit surprised to see the kind of people that were here. Most of them are heavy partiers, but i made friends with a couple of them who wern`t into that whole scene. Don`t worry Mummy I still have some sense. This weekend we have rented a hotel near the base of the Arenal volcano, there are some gorgous rainforests and we are actually finding a way to go canopy touring. As some may imagine Costa Rica is absolutly gorgous, just outside is the la fortuna volcano, it supposedly is active all year round and at night we see the lava or hot rock.
Accessibilty wise it`s Central America so my wheelchair has been doing very good off roading, in fact i have it tied with a bungie cord to the internet cafe so no one will steal it. Of course 90 % of the time i cant get in places so the group has been helpful and when i go out alone strangers are so friendly. I think i`ve lost about 15 pounds just trying to get in and out of public restrooms and getting around town. Jose and the rest of the staff are absolutly incredible, they rented and accessible cab for the entire 5 weeks so i can even use it on weekend trips.
Everything is so vibrant and colorful, I`m waking up at 6:30 everymorning to a bright orange room so I don`t know what i`m going to do when i get back home.
We went to the Orosi valley today and it was picturesque, we saw the most beautiful birds in the rainforests and went to a 16th century church. It`s amazing how faithful Costa Ricans are to the Catholic Church, we live right near the Bascillica, which is a huge church that people walk for days to come to. It`s quite moving.
>Anyway, it`s about 10:00 so walking back any later might not be to fun. ´
Love you all, and thank you so much for your messages.

2006-02-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Of course because I am such organized person I have everything packed and set up. Yeah I'm kidding! I'm staring at a half packed bag remembering all the things i have to put into it. I never realized how heavy my battery charger is now that i have to carry it.
I get a minder as my grandmother would say, minder meaning someone to follow you around to make sure your ok for the first few days. His name is Adrian and he's going to make sure I can get everywhere realitivly easily. I heard he can't speak English too well, and my spanish is non-existant so we'll be a good pair! My sign language will come in handy.
Where i will be staying is a renovated old schoolhouse outside of Cartago, I will be sleeping in bunk beds, I was going to be put on top but they took pity on the poor guy that will have to get me up there. I'll have 6 roomates so lots of company!!!
Driving to SF tomorrow morning, and take a 9:50 flight out to New York ( yeah, i know!??) and then down to San Jose, Costa Rica.
You'll probably see me swearing the next time i blog because more likely than not the airlines have broken my wheelchair and have stranded me in the middle of the airport!
Fun times!

2006-01-31T19:25:00.000-08:00

I have to say that I am almost jumping out of my chair in excitement, I leave for Costa Rica Friday!! I have to put this in here for all those people out there who have had bad experiences with travel/volunteer organizations, Cross-Cultural Solutions is truly amazing! The people that I have worked with (Whitney, Lauren!) have made me feel so safe and have really taken this trip to the nth degree for me, I have enjoyed just planning it! I remember going on the People to People Europe program to England and France and although PTP is a wonderful program, they looked at me as a liability issue and certainly not as an intelligent youth. I went with 20 of my peers and quite frankly felt like herded sheep getting a history lesson. So coming from PTP to Cross Cultural Solutions is like a 360.
I got my placement for when I'm in Cartago, first i'm working in a nursing home for the elderly, I'm really excited about hearing about their lives if they can tell them and if i can brush up on my Spanish! Then I'm off to a Special Education School, one of the largest on Costa Rica i hear. I can't wait to compare the different programs that i will be able to see there and bringing it back to America. I am also facinated in how the disabled are treated and what services are available in Costa Rica.
I have been reading the CCS manual and they talk a great deal about the psychological impact of volunteering abroad, there were 4 stages; flight, dependency, fight and adaption. I do hope i get to adaption rather quickly!! I am probably most worried about how well i'll adapt to the daily life and routine. But again CCS has set up exactly what i have needed, like shower chairs, bars, ramps etc. it's so lovely!!
I just wanted to thank all my friends and family, if you ever read this, for the financial and emotional support, I love you all and remember give my poor Mum lots of hugs next time you see her (she'll be home with Emma, alone!!) :-P

2006-01-10T17:35:00.000-08:00

OK, this is the last time I change my destination, I promise! I am now going to Costa Rica, due to the avian flu in Asia and the never ending inaccessability I decided the warm and tropical coasts of Central America will suit me fine. It will be the same volunteer program and I will still be able to stay for three months. I leave in three weeks on Feb. 4th so I'm running, more wheeling, around getting vaccinations and anything that I think I can't live without. My lovely mother is being so supportive and offered to pay for half of the trip for my graduation present, though I do want to be able to pay for it fully. I have only three days to be a totally twitty high schooler, then I am officially a college student and supposedly equiped with all the neccessary skills to make it on my own, (yeah).
I'm going to have to get used to driving my other chair since it's back wheel drive, seriously, it's like driving a stick shift and then going to automatic, it can be dangerous especially for those around me!
My arm is sore from my Tetnus shot, supposedly I only have to get Malaria if I go to the rural areas so thankfully I was spared that one. Also, for anyone going there, they say you need typhoid and yellow fever but really it's not neccessary, according to my doctor.
Well, don't hold me to anything until I'm on the plane, then you'll really know what country I'm going to!

2005-12-15T17:01:00.000-08:00

Exciting News!!
I finally got into direct contact with Cross-Cultural Solutions and they have answered so many of my INCREDIBLY important questions! Such as if i can get my wheelchair into the complex where i will be living, and if i will be living with others. All is confirmed and it seems i may be going to Thailand this coming Febuary or March! Such a relief to talk to a real person, I got all my anxiety relieved in a matter of moments. I signed up for the program in Bangkok, and i hope to work with people with disabilities, just to get another perspective from half-way around the world. Now i'm going to have to get on the money issue. I've saved about $1,600, and by my calculations it's going to cost around $6,000 for three months, and that's including program tuition, airfare, visas, etc. I can't believe i can travel roundtrip to Bangkok, for $755. I don't think you can even get halfway to Europe on that!
But i better get myself in gear to raise that kind of money. If anyone has fundraising tips, i'd love to hear them!

I hope for the best!

2005-11-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

Over the past month I have devoted myself to my college applications, so I apoligize for the absence. I still am planning to go to Thailand this Febuary or March with Cross-Cultural Solutions. If anyone out there has participated in their programs I would love to hear your experiences and opinions. I am, of course always looking for other options if this trip falls through. I am thinking of traveling around Europe for a few months, especially the UK. Currently, i am waiting for a reply on the application i sent in and i am actually wondering if they will let me enter Thailand with this bird flu going around. If anyone knows the status on that, it would be helpful to know!
I recently recieved a book called "Wheelchair Around the World." It is a wonderful book about this elderly couple, one in a wheelchair, who take off for a year around the world. They have wonderful information of the accessible hotels and car rentals, as well as helpful info on the terrain in the country. They went to some remarkable places such as Israel and Siberia. Unfortunently, they didn't go to Thailand so I am still a bit in the dark of what to expect. Still, it's a fabulous read!
Well,
I will report what comes out in the end: Thailand or Europe!!

2005-11-02T14:32:00.000-08:00

I am now in my 6th or 7th month of planning a trip to volunteer overseas, and it seems that I am right back where I started from. I unfortunently have a very spontaneous persontality so when I have been waiting for this amount of time and trying to plan a trip, it is quite frustrating when it falls through. Though I do hope perseverence wins out in the end!
I have applied to Cross-Cultural Solutions, which is a volunteer abroad agency, and I now am waiting for a reply. The program that fell through was with Pacific Village Institute and I was going to volunteer in Vietnam, most likely to help a teacher or to teach English. The organization, PVI, was wonderful but they had no idea what was involved with people traveling with disabilities and I felt very insecure traveling by myself at seventeen, with a disability, and with a company who was basically winging it.
I believe that the hardest part for me is keeping up the confidence that I can do it and that I will be able to travel and make a difference. Everyone around me, meaning family and friends, are very kind when they talk to me but I can tell as they pat me on the head that they truly don't believe this is going to happen. And unfortunently I'm faltering myself. But along with my spontanaity, comes complete perseverence and I am not going to let go of a dream I have had for so long.
Well, I now am going to embark on a hopefully plausable trip with Cross-Cultural Solutions and I'll keep you updated!

2005-10-06T15:03:00.000-07:00

My name is Megan Smith and I am a senior in high school up in Northern California. I have a physical disability where i use an electric wheelchair for the most part, i can walk in a walker but it's difficult. Technically, i'm classified as having CP, but it's my belief the doctors didn't know what was going on and CP is the most general label. But anyway, at this point in my incredibly drawn out process of planning, I hope to travel to either Vietnam or Thailand at the beginning of January.
I have always had a passion for traveling and developed what i call a love affair with the world. For the past four years i have tried to organize several overseas trips through various organizations, all of which has fallen through. Luckily, this last summer i was able to travel to France and England with the program People to People. It was a wonderful experience and it has helped me redefine what i want when i am traveling. Traveling with 50 other high school students is not one of them! But the sights were incredible! Just as a forewarning to any wheelchair travelers going to Versialle, France, those cobblestones are a killer!! Though there is one place in which every person needs to visit when in England, whether you are disabled or not, and this is The United Kingdom Sailing Acadamy. This acadamy took me sailing, kayaking and windsurfing, with all of the accomidations i needed. They even assigned a private trainer to me.
But this trip helped me realize that i really don't want to just travel to the tourist spots, i want to actually live in the culture and offer any service i can to the community i am living with. This is why i am going to Vietnam and Thailand as a volunteer instead of a random tourist. I hope to stay for three to six months so that i will have the opprotunity to at least explore the culture partially.
In my Northern California community i have been active in many of the disablity activist organizations, for both the physically and developmentally disabled. Another hope for my volunteering is to develop an international respect and understanding of the whole spectrum of disabilities. Hopefully my knowledge of American disability rights and activism can influence programs overseas.
Well with all luck and hope my plans will progress!

Meg Smith